Bible Absurdities
Compiled by Donald Morgan
GE 2:15-23, 3:1-5, 1TI 2:14 Eve was created after Adam had already been given the prohibition about
eating the forbidden fruit. Eve believed the serpent (the craftiest of all of God's wild creatures) when he
assured her that she would become wise and would not die if she ate the fruit. Eve has been blamed for
causing Adam to fall, and ultimately for the fall of mankind. (Note: Prior to eating the forbidden fruit, Adam
and Eve would have had no knowledge of right and wrong; they would not have known that it was a sin to
disobey God or to obey the serpent. After they ate the forbidden fruit, God placed a guard around the
"Tree of Eternal Life" to keep them from eating its fruit. He could have done the same for the "Tree of
Knowledge of Good and Evil" before Adam and Eve disobeyed. In addition, even though the prohibition
regarding the forbidden fruit was made to Adam before Eve came on the scene, Eve has been blamed
for the Fall; 1TI 2:14 says: "... Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a
transgressor.")
GE 3:1-5 The serpent speaks human language (presumably Hebrew).
GE 3:14-16 God curses the serpent, Eve, and Adam for what they have done. (Note: This is inconsistent
with God's omniscience; God should have known full well, ahead of time, what the outcome would be.
Since God created the three as well as the Tree of Knowledge, he is ultimately responsible for the Fall.)
2.
Compiled by Donald Morgan
GE 2:15-23, 3:1-5, 1TI 2:14 Eve was created after Adam had already been given the prohibition about
eating the forbidden fruit. Eve believed the serpent (the craftiest of all of God's wild creatures) when he
assured her that she would become wise and would not die if she ate the fruit. Eve has been blamed for
causing Adam to fall, and ultimately for the fall of mankind. (Note: Prior to eating the forbidden fruit, Adam
and Eve would have had no knowledge of right and wrong; they would not have known that it was a sin to
disobey God or to obey the serpent. After they ate the forbidden fruit, God placed a guard around the
"Tree of Eternal Life" to keep them from eating its fruit. He could have done the same for the "Tree of
Knowledge of Good and Evil" before Adam and Eve disobeyed. In addition, even though the prohibition
regarding the forbidden fruit was made to Adam before Eve came on the scene, Eve has been blamed
for the Fall; 1TI 2:14 says: "... Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a
transgressor.")
GE 3:1-5 The serpent speaks human language (presumably Hebrew).
GE 3:14-16 God curses the serpent, Eve, and Adam for what they have done. (Note: This is inconsistent
with God's omniscience; God should have known full well, ahead of time, what the outcome would be.
Since God created the three as well as the Tree of Knowledge, he is ultimately responsible for the Fall.)
2.
GE 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven(s) and the earth." (One might ask what "existed," and where God dwelt, before he created heaven and earth. Of course, if God were pure spirit the question could be considered moot, but inasmuch as the God of the Bible allegedly participated in a wrestling match, ate solid food, was seen face to face, spoke with Moses, etc., it would seem that he possesses physical attributes, including form.)
(Note: Some biblicists contend that biblical chronology fixes the date of creation at 4004 B.C. thereby making the earth about six thousand years old. Some present-day creationists stubbornly adhere to a young earth timetable in spite of overwhelming evidence that the earth is actually billions of years old.)
(Note: Some biblicists contend that biblical chronology fixes the date of creation at 4004 B.C. thereby making the earth about six thousand years old. Some present-day creationists stubbornly adhere to a young earth timetable in spite of overwhelming evidence that the earth is actually billions of years old.)
GE 1:3-5, 14-19 There was light ("night and day") before there was a sun. (Note: If there were no sun, there would be no night or day. Also, light from the newly created heavenly bodies seems to have reached the earth instantaneously though it now takes thousands or millions of years.)
GE 1:12, 16 Plants began to grow before there was sunlight.
GE 1:29 Every plant and tree which yield seed are given to us by God as good to eat. (Note: This would include poisonous plants such as hemlock, buckeye pod, nightshade, oleander.)
BIBLE FLAWS -- 4Compiled by Donald MorganGE 8:21 The odor of Noah's sacrifices was pleasing to the Lord.GE 9:12-16 God first creates the rainbow. (Note: Apparently the laws having to do with refraction of light were null and void prior to this time.)GE 18:1, 7-8 God eats solid food with Abraham.GE 30:37-43 Jacob alters the genetic characteristics of cattle by letting them view a striped rod. (Note: His purpose in doing so was to fleece Laban of his cattle.)GE 32:24-30 God takes part in a wrestling match. He wins by injuring Jacob's hip.GE 38:27-29 Twins are being delivered. One puts out his hand and the midwife binds it with a scarlet ribbon to identify him as the firstborn. But he draws back his hand, and his brother is born first (thereby obtaining the rights of the firstborn son).EX 4:24 The Lord sought to kill Moses (one of his own prophets.)EX 12:30 The Lord kills all the first-born of Egypt and there is not a house where there is not at least one dead. (This means that there was not a house in Egypt that did not include at least one first-born---a most unusual situation.)EX 12:37, NU 1:45-46 The number of men of military age who take part in the Exodus is given as about 600,000. Allowing for women, children, and older men would probably mean that a total of more than 2,000,000 Israelites left Egypt at a time when the whole population of Egypt was less than 2,000,000.EX 17:14 God says that he will utterly blot out the remembrance of Amalek.
DT 25:19 "... you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven; you must not forget."
(That remembrance is now permanently preserved in the Bible.)EX 28:34-35 Entering the holy place without wearing bells can result in death.LE 11:20-21 There are winged creatures (birds or insects) that go around on all fours. (Note: There are no birds that go around on four legs, and all insects have six or eight legs.)LE 11:6 (States, incorrectly, that the rabbit, or hare, chews its cud.)LE 14:33-57 God himself believes that a house or clothes can have leprosy and he details the remedy.LE 14:49-53 The cure for leprosy involves incantations and the blood of a bird.NU 11:31-33 A "wind from the Lord" brings such an abundance of quail that "he who gathered the least gathered ten homers," or about 62 bushels. Altogether, this would have been enough to fill several thousand boxcars. Unfortunately, it was immediately followed by a great plague (food poisoning?) from the Lord.NU 22:21-30 A donkey sees an angel, recognizes it as such, and then speaks in human language (presumably Hebrew) to his master.DT 1:1 Moses speaks to "all" of Israel, perhaps 2,000,000 people (see EX 12:37 above).DT 2:14 All of the "men of war"--some 600,000--who left Egypt in the Exodus were dead just thirty-eight years later. (See EX 12:37 above.)DT 7:15 Moses promises his people that the Lord will take away all sickness.DT 25:5-9 A man has an obligation to produce a child with his brother's widow. If he refuses, his sister-in-law is to spit in his face in front of the elders.JS 10:12-14 God obliges Joshua by making the sun and moon stand still (so that he can finish his battle by daylight).JG 3:21-22 (KJV) "Ehud ... took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out."JG 7:12 The camels were without number as the sand of the sea.JG 15:15 Samson slays 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass.JG 16:17-22 Samson loses his strength as a result of having his head shaved. (Note: This is not psychosomatic since he began to lose his strength while he was still asleep.)JG 20:16 There were seven hundred men who were left handed and could sling a stone at a hair and not miss.1SA 5:8-9 God causes "emerods" (hemorrhoids or tumors) amongst the Philistines (who have captured the Ark of the Covenant, where God was thought to reside).1SA 13:5 The Philistines had "... troops like the sand on the seashore in multitude."1SA 16:14-23 Evil spirits can come from God (and be exorcised with God's help).1KI 3:12, 16-28 Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, can think of no better way to determine the natural mother of a child in dispute than to threaten to divide the child in half. (Note: This does not take into account the possibility of mental derangement on the part of the natural mother.)
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